Resolutions, the best time of year for starting over, getting fit and healthy, or fixing something that has been getting you down all year. We usually get into a nice cycle of complacency during December, just getting through the motions with the holiday run around. Then January 1st rolls around and BAM..let's fix something!!!
I want to lose weight!
I want to save more money!
I want to be a better spouse, parent, or employee!
By the third or fourth week we are just tired and probably wanting a brownie. I find in my practice, so much self judgment. We set these "goals" to fix ourselves, only to feel let down and disappointed when we miss the mark. Typically thereafter we land right back to where we were before the holidays behavior wise, only now we have a feeling of failure that accompanies us. Repeat this pattern every year and over time we just start dreading the whole self-improvement process all together.
Change is hard. But it doesn't have to hurt our self concept long term. The judgment has to STOP! So how do you get motivation without the feared judgement if you fail? Acceptance is KEY. When you set a goal, do it from a "I deserve the best life I can have" mindset. Set goals that you actually WANT to achieve, and set them with personal acceptance built in. Make the resolutions manageable and very attainable. Make the resolution to accept that you will just try your best, and do it with joy. Find ways to integrate joy and acceptance into your resolutions with an attitude that you DESERVE to succeed. If you miss the mark, accept that you did your best, and practice seeing what you did accomplish instead of what you didn't.
If you find it difficult, find a mentor, therapist, or coach, who can guide you. True greatness does not have to be a solo journey.
~~~ Jaclyn Fortier, LPC