Anxiety is a tool each human being has been given. It is an instinctual energy that we use to guide us, to keep us safe, and help us make decisions that are for our best interest in our lives. When I begin to tell my new clients this information, they usually gasp in disbelief and resist this concept at first. It is the "disordered anxiety" also known in the mental health field, as an anxiety disorder, that causes us excess distress and trouble. The key to managing anxiety, along with many learned tools in therapy,  is to switch gears. Turn the problem inside out, and learn to work with your instinctual anxiety and not against it. We call this in my office, turn yourself inside out, and outside in...Changing the internal belief system that this chronic stress is a threat itself. 

​Today I am noting ten years since I found my way in terms of treating my own stressful patterns and anxiety differently. I use the nerves, stress, and internal guidance for my greater good. As a small child, I remember being fearful of most everything, bugs, tornadoes, and especially wolfs, (not sure where that came from) but it was a huge fear!

In my 20's and 30's, I worked hard to rid myself of my anxiety, denying it's power, it seemed to overtake me at times. Then the shift happened, around the time I was studying psychology, and clinical counseling, through Cognitive Behavioral Practice, and Mindfulness, I learned that shifting and listening to myself instead of telling myself there was something wrong with the way I was feeling, I felt relief almost immediately. It is a practice, not a one time fix, to accept and listen the fears we experience as human beings. It is okay to be nervous, scared sometimes, and have anxiety around certain things. Humans are born with this instinct, to keep us safe. I tell my clients, anxiety is one of the most adaptable traits, and we are now going to practice learning how to love every part of you, and take care of every part of you, even the anxious part of you! When we listen, with mindfulness, and self compassion, to ourselves and value our needs and emotions, it takes our anxiety from a disordered level, to a manageable level. We learn to set boundaries with unhealthy behaviors and relationships, make self care a priority, and practice self compassion when we are feeling overwhelmed. 

I typically will use animals as a reference to this model of anxiety and mindfulness for stress reduction. The eagle is my favorite animal to use, so beautiful, wise, and protective.  The eagle does not apologize for its nerves, it owns the energy, and soars high above the ground honoring the safety of their nest and their young. There is nothing wrong with instinctual anxiety, it is our gift to honor and to take care of. With the assistance of a trained counselor, disordered anxiety can be treated and shifting into a life of mindful, intentional living. 
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Jaclyn Fortier, LCMHCS
​www.carolinacounselingwellness.com

This is the first post in a while...for good reason. We have been BUSY! This year, I vowed to slow down, restore, and re-focus. It is interesting that in the third month of my "slow down with intention" we get a global pandemic on our hands to deal with. I am ready to help. I am here with a clear mind and (very clean hands) to assist others with their anxiety and mental health during this time of uncertainty.

I have been serving the mental health population for over a decade, with years as a certified crisis worker, and currently a clinical supervisor and practicing licensed mental health counselor in the RTP area of North Carolina. This pandemic is a mental health issue just as much as it is physical health issue. People are scattered right now emotionally, the uncertainty seems to be the common thread. Will things be cancelled, will I be able to work, will someone in my family get sick? 

Yesterday, I took a long walk around my favorite lake nearby, and noticed the energy shift in the air. People were smiling as I passed them like they usually do. Some were clearly connecting with me more intently, almost as to say, "it is all going to be okay"..with our eyes...

I am a preparer. I am a planner. I am also a health care provider who treats anxiety and crisis management. I believe in preparing for my family and myself, so I may serve others... 

This week, I have been reminded that being mindful and practicing mindfulness is key for managing our chronic stress and crisis mindset. Some of the core components of mindfulness are:

Identify what is in your circle of control- prepare mindfully, wisely, and enough for you to feel comfortable. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem, and identify ways that you can release what is out of your control with grace. 

Self compassion- (it is okay to be a little worried, anxiety can be a good energy source if harnessed correctly). Be kind to yourself with your thoughts.

Pay attention- (to the right information) keep up with the positive and action focused news not the scarcity mindset followers. Energy is more contagious than viral infections! Negative group think will affect you if you are overexposed. Limit the information you get to the experts. 

Practice distraction and self care- Be aware of yourself and your mood and if you are overwhelmed take a break. Hey, we are not supposed to be in large crowds..what a great excuse to stay off the grid, take a hike, go camping, or an extra long walk in the park...

We have been teaching mindful hand washing as a portable self care anxiety relief option for years. In our Dialectical Behavior groups we would do self soothing hand washing examples of how to regulate our emotions using our five senses. What a great excuse for self soothing bubbles and scrubbing those bad feelings away with a nice lemon scented soap.

Since the beginning of the "don't touch your face" recommendation..I can't tell you how many times I have had an itch or wanted to touch my face! MINDFULLY I have said to myself..sit with the urge, notice it, don't react to it...and it passed...This is such a powerful way to practice something that is already so good for us! Mindful awareness of the present moment (and good hygiene). 

Check in with your health care providers for support. Many of us in Wake County NC, my counseling practice included, and even the Veterans Administration here in Durham, are offering TELE-HEALTH during this time for those who feel overly anxious and need medical attention.

This is a mental and physical health care opportunity to be centered, wise minded, and refocus on what really matters. Compassion and human kindness. 

For us, this weekend will be full of hiking at the nature park, visiting local small businesses to help ease our pending financial economy crisis, and enjoying a little "introverted" off the grid time to rest and recover. 

Jaclyn Fortier, LCMHCS
www.carolinacounselingwellness.com

In searching for meaning in life, most seem to do this in attaining loving relationships, which are sometimes successful... and sometimes not. About a 50% gamble based on most statistics. 

I do not personally or professionally believe in failures, I believe, and have witnessed in my practice, that it is all a building process of learning experiences, that lead to greater knowledge of self and others. Yet, to be in a loving relationship, one has to be vulnerable.

The word "vulnerability" can evoke, as I have seen in my clients faces, a squirmy uncomfortable feeling..."what is that"...what is vulnerability anyways, and why is it needed in love and relationships?

A very wise and dear friend of mine told me a while back, and I started to ponder it personally, and discuss with my clients as well,... To have a successful, full, meaningful relationship, two people have to be mutually vulnerable...sharing secrets, trust, all in...for better or worse, ego aside. 

If this is so, why is it so hard to be vulnerable? Because being vulnerable is scary! Rejection, or judgment, or loss is right on the other side...what if...

It is like jumping into a lake that looks beautiful on the surface, yet you have no idea what is under the water.

It is like jumping out of a plane, wondering if the chute will open, or trusting your tandem partner will pull the cord at the right time...

But love, true love, the kind that lasts a lifetime...which seems to be what so many want...takes a leap, takes trust before it is earned... it takes vulnerability and being OPEN...in a way that they see the real you, and you see the real them, and then the magic happens...so we must not fear vulnerability, because in reality, it is the only way we can get, and keep, what we all seem to want so much...

It is a leap, a blind jump, faith in trusting one another to understand, and catch each other. It is facing the fear of judgement and being your full and true self with one  another...that is vulnerability, and it is the only way love is going to work. 

Jaclyn Fortier, LCMHC
www.carolinacounselingwellness.com 

​Has anyone else noticed we are on earth, which is rapidly spinning in space each day?  With the hustle and bustle of daily life, garbage trucks at the curb making the dog bark while you busily get ready for the day. Kids or cats needing food, work obligations, resolutions to yet again make everything better this year...It is no wonder why so may people are stressed and seeking more in their lives.

What we are seeking so furiously, may just be with us already. 

One day not long ago, I was driving down a back road after an appointment, setting an intention to be mindful.

A big red pick-up truck came up behind me as I cruised at the speed limit...he got really close. So close I could feel his anger and hurried energy breathing down my mindfulness moment.

As we curved an winded down the road, I stayed my course, noticing the beautiful broken down barn in the pasture,  the horses lazily eating their way through the fields... then with a loud muffler exhale...the truck ZOOMED passed me and darted out of sight. I could slowly feel his hurried anger leave my mindful moment and I took a breath...

A few miles down the road, I stopped for the red light, and to my delight and insight, the big red angry pick-up truck was in FRONT of me at the red light...we were at the same point in time...this was inspiring as I can relate, most can, to being in that kind of hurry. Maybe he was late picking up his children from school, maybe he forgot the milk on the way home...But...his hurrying did ABSOLUTELY nothing to change this. 

AHHHH I wish I would have known this when I was younger...this bit of wisdom I have learned, and now passionately share with others...


WE ARE ALL GOING TO END UP IN THE SAME PLACE SO WHAT'S YOUR HURRY...


Mindfulness is practice of slowing down, paying attention, and being in the moment. It is a practice, it is hard to do in this world of hustle and bustle, although it can be life-changing. It is not mediation, you do not have to wear a Buddha robe to master it. You can even drive a big pick-up truck and still be mindful.

It is a practice and a tool. It does not mean you have to be in a mindful state all the time, although it is a tool used to come back to when you need it, whenever you can. 

What is mindfulness?  Mindfulness is the act of being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling at every moment — without interpretation or judgment or trying to change it.
Spending too much time planning, problem-solving, daydreaming, or thinking negative or random thoughts can be exhausting. It can also make you more likely to experience stress, anxiety and symptoms of depression.

Practicing mindfulness exercises, on the other hand, can help you direct your attention away from this kind of thinking and engage with the world around you. There are online mindful courses, guided mindfulness work, and many counselors, including myself, have training on how to implement mindfulness into your daily life. 

What are the benefits of mindfulness exercises? Practicing mindfulness exercises can have many possible benefits, including:

• Reduced stress, anxiety and depression
• Less negative thinking and distraction
• Improved mood 

Jaclyn Fortier, LCMHCS
www.carolinacounselingwellness.com
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