Hugh Willard, LPC shared a great post this week. Let's get to it...insightful.
“Sometimes my masks are insufficient and light breaks in” When I hear someone exclaim “boundaries!”, it is without exception in the context of saying that another person’s boundaries are too loose, or non-existent. That is, the other individual shares too much personal information and/or requests the same from others.
These unsafe dynamics are usually quite easy to spot. But what about the other end of this relational continuum? What happens when a person’s boundaries are too impenetrable? In the world of psychology, one of the more widely accepted basic tenets is that of defenses.
Defenses include such experiences as denial, repression, and rationalization, among many others. Defenses serve a very important and protective role in our emotional health. All too often, however, our defenses outlast the specific circumstances for which they were originally employed.
When this occurs, the protection becomes the poison, cutting us off from the life giving sources of connection with other people and experiences. It can be an act of courage to open ourselves up after painful experiences. Of course, we need to proceed with care, but proceed we must, if we are to heal and grow.
See more of Hugh's work at www.willowwaycounseling.org
Spring is here! Well close enough anyways. Yes, I took this picture, no it is not my tree, although I was admiring it so much I snapped a picture and was inspired.
Spring is a great time for change. Just a few weeks ago, this tree was sad, brown, and leafless. I bet a few have felt that way after a long winter, a loss, or a time of sadness. The most amazing thing about nature is that when leaves fall, they make room for new. This is so very true in our own lives, we have loss, change, and seasons pass, we always have room for new...it is a time for filling the space with what is to come.
Lately in my practice, we have been having some challenging exercises to learn to fill this space with what we want next. I find it such a hard activity because as human beings we usually get lost in the process. With my mental organizing and renewing exercise, we can find a creative way to let go of the old and "leaf" leave it behind..haha punny...pun intended...(I was told yesterday I was "punny"). Take what works for us, and leave the rest. When we create space with intention, there is room for growth and new opportunity. We don't have to leave all of it behind, we all have great characteristics that work well in our lives, let's just get rid of the old less than desirable stuff that doesn't work for us anymore.
To do this exercise at home, get a piece of paper, draw a vertical line right down the middle, on the left side write "leave" and on the right side write "take"...
Now start organizing the things you want to leave behind. Examples may be:
Then work on the right side, things you want to take with you or attain in the future. Examples may be:
The list can be long, or short, and can be repeated at each new chapter of your life. This is a practical way to mentally organize and set your intentions. If you find you struggle with this, feel free to consult a therapist, coach, or mentor. We are not meant to be solo artists at this whole life thing, and they do not teach this enough...it is a process!